Confucianism: Confucious says, shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Native American: What is the medicine of shit?
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Pantheism: It's all the same shit.
Agnosticism: What is this shit?
Atheism: I don't believe this shit.
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