The Bowl in The Room Inside Your Room...

Here’s a shout out to the person who invented the modern toilet bowl! What a bloody wonderful invention, a round thingy for you to sit while you stink. There’s even water inside so when the shit lands it wouldn’t stink as much, it might splash on your butt cheeks though. You can also watch it floating around while you’re bored sitting there with nothing to do. No seriously. What would life be without the toilet bowl?

Imagine you waking up early in the morning and all of a sudden, you feel that something is trying to break free from your ass. Instead of walking 2 meters to the toilet bowl, you have to run all the way to the garden with your pajamas halfway down while shouting curses at everyone who’s in your freaking way!

As you arrive in the garden area, you first have to scout around to see if there’s anyone around or looking your way, including birds and pets. Who knows? They might be laughing silently amongst each other thinking, “How come those bloody humans get so civilized but can’t even have a place for themselves to sit and stink?” And you can’t shit in peace with that running through the tiny little morning brain of yours. Then once you make sure, you have to start digging a hole to suit the amount of shit that you’re gonna let go. Not only do you have to use your strength to dig the hole, your brains have to work full time as well. How much blood do you think you have in your system to support all these at once? And don’t forget, you’re still fresh from slumber.

Are you starting to appreciate ‘the bowl’ now?

While digging, people may walk past that area and some might even be freaking annoying to ask what you’re doing. And at that very moment, you might not have the strength or patience to tell the bastard to f**k off so you just have to concentrate on moving your lips into a smiling position. Not too much, just enough to tell the person that you don’t appreciate his company but don’t wanna be too rude about it. They might be understanding and walk off without a word. Some are too ignorant to get the signal so they just decide to walk by for a peek. At that very moment you oh-so-feel like stranggling their necks dry and just bury them in the hole you just dug.

When there’s finally no one around, and you feel comfortable enough to let go, you take off your pajama pants and squat on top of the hole that you just spent half an hour digging. As you slowly push that little critter out you realized that it was just a false alarm. That thing that tried to creep out of your ass was just…. A fart.

Now you feel ridiculous as you squat there smelling the stuff you ate yesterday, and the only difference is it smells rotten now. Then you realized that you have to act before anyone comes around again. You run around trying to find leaves or dead tree branches to cover up the hole you painfully dug so that no idiot will come and steal it for their own shitting pleasure.Voila, the hole is fully covered as you put a few rocks on top to mark your territory. You feel relieved, and walk home proudly in your pajamas and get a glass of water to drink. As you finish the last drop of water you realize….

The next wave has come, and trust me, this time… it isn’t just a fart.

All I’m saying is, let's take some time to appreciate all the stuff that people has done for us. Regardless of whom they are, and be thankful for what we have.